Gosh. I know we are in a downed economy right now, but I feel like the companies that are hiring might be taking advantage of our desperate nature. Case in point – as I was perusing through the cyber want ads this morning, I saw a posting whose tag line was, “HIGH PRESSURE!” Wow. Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about! What human being alive doesn’t want to jump right into a frying pan like that?
Copywriter needed for fast paced publishing company! PhD and 7 years of copywriting experience required or 30 years of copywriting experience and yet still be young enough to be hip and not mumble a lot. Capable of managing a motley crew of slackers who would rather dig out their eyes with a stick than show up to work. Must be proficient in every single Windows program including the ones that are not relevant to your job or are so outdated they don’t work but you still need to know because they are taking up space on our hard drives and we don’t know how to remove them. We have a generous benefits package for the right candidate. Exactly what those benefits are will be revealed to you upon hiring and only if you can tell us how to get the IRS off our backs. Please forward a resume and cover letter to: Imafool@wepubcrap.com.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to update my ‘Objectives’ section on my resume to say *Soul is non-negotiable.*