I want to talk about, “the little people.” And no…I don’t mean the ones who come in the night to steal my car keys and frolick around my living room, giggling and singing in their annoying high pitched voices, (I’ve already reported their inconsiderate asses to the authorities) – what I’m talking about is the apparent rise in popularity of the day to day goings-on of dwarves.

If you spend any time flipping channels like I do, you begin to see the trend I’m talking about. I believe it started with, “Little People, Big World” – and yes, at first I found the show to be no less than adorable. Watching gnome-like people raise a family, go to work, live, love, laugh and try to reach things that are pushed too far back on the counter tops – frankly – it was heartwarming.
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I used to work for LifeTime Fitness. It was the “Sams” of all the gyms – enormous in size, the 120,000 square foot coliseum consists of a spa, a cafe, two indoor pools, one outdoor pool and enough cardio equipment to accommodate a small village. People would come in droves – it looked more like the entrance gate to Disney World than to a gym – and they just kept coming. There was a youthful vibe that sort of felt like you were stepping into a trendy Latin club. Oh, how I miss my 5.5 run on a state-of-the-art treadmill while watching 7 different TV programs…simultaneously.

I now work for a hospital – in their cardiovascular center. They, too, have a gym and one indoor pool. But the Latin vibe has been more appropriately replaced by easy listening and early 80’s ballads. My flat screens, airing the latest episodes of CSI, The Office and day time soap operas, are now filled with the likes of Glenn Beck and a variety of commentators at Fox News. My gym now has a “post WWII, I survived the depression and will die wearing my Vote For Rush campaign button on my fedora”…kind of vibe.
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So I figured that maybe it was time for me to step out a little and write about something deeper – something with a little more substance, more grit and a bit more controversy.

So I will NOT heed the advice of my mother, but will instead step into the land of “should nots” and discuss….religion.

No!!
Yes.

First of all – I am a huge fan of God. Which is why I find it rather puzzling that GOD – the omnipotent and all powerful creator of the universe, by and large is portrayed as a blackmailer or an angry toddler. Since this is a “blog,” I don’t have the luxury of going through all the chapters of the Bible to build my case, so I will just have to stick with a few of the highlights.

Let’s start with that “behind the scenes” conversation with Abraham where God says, “Listen Abe, if you promise that you will not put any other gods before me and worship me and only me, I can make it worth your while – like maybe I can bless your blood line for all of eternity? I’ve always wondered how that discussion really went. You know, did God start out small, offering spa treatments for the whole family for an entire year, or maybe 24 hour access to their Archangel of choice? Then after hours and hours of back and forth negotiating, God – too darn tired to realize that there aren’t any other gods but him – offers Abraham the deal of the century. I’ll bet when God figured it out later, he was pissed. None the less, I’m a little disappointed that God let his insecurities get the best of him. I like to think that the “Creator of the Universe” has a little bit more insight than that.

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